More on weird worlds far away I’ll never visit. Two federal agents allegedly stole big bucks from Silk Road; one of them allegedly did shake down Dread Pirate Roberts. No, this is not an April 1st story.

Sometimes things go so weird you just gotta’ laugh. Satire site Onion is yet again outdone by reality.  Would you otherwise think this was satire?  Two federal agents allegedly ripped off Silk Road, allegedly ripped off Dread Pirate Roberts, and otherwise allegedly stole a ton  stack  pile  truckload  whole bunch of bitcoins. 

3/30 – Wall Street Journal – Former Federal Agents Charged With Stealing Bitcoin During Probe

Ecclesiastes 1:9 says

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;

there is nothing new under the sun.

God’s wisdom has been proved yet again by two former federal law enforcement agents when they ripped off some money they found while conducting a criminal probe of Silk Road.

A former DEA agent allegedly tried to sell info to Dread Pirate Roberts, allegedly did sell him info,  and allegedly moved some bitcoins into his personal account. A former Secret Service officer picked up, um, pocketed, um, walked out with, um, allegedly transferred to his alleged personal account over $800K. Both were charged recently and were scheduled to appear in court Monday.

This isn’t just a case of failing to resist temptation and pocketing a bag of dope or a wad of currency on a street bust. Check out some of the things the DEA agent allegedly did, all of which info is according to the complaint:

• Offered to trade info to Dread Pirate Roberts for $250K.
• Separate from the above attempted shakedown, he allegedly received $100K from Silk Road in exchange for information about the investigation.
• Diverted an unspecified amount of bitcoins from the probe which were in federal custody to his personal account
• Wired $235K to an account in Panama.
• Invested $100K in a bitcoin company
• Served as the compliance officer for the company
• Told his investee company to freeze a customer’s account and then moved about $297K from the frozen account into his personal account

All of that is alleged by the feds. By my count, that is an allegation of at least $400K, calculated as $235K moved out of the country, $100K invested in a bitcoin dealer, rounded up for paying off some loans and bills as alleged in the complaint.

Here are a few things the former Secret Service agent is alleged to have done, according to the sworn complaint:

• Created a shell company and opened an account at a brokerage firm in that shell’s name.
• Moved $820K into his newly opened brokerage account in a series of 9 wires from a Mt Gox account. Affidavit hints but does not say there may be a link between those funds and a theft from Silk Road, which proceeds were moved to Mt. Gox. Later the affidavit says the agent filing the complaint believes the former SS agent was “associated” with the theft from Silk Road.
• Moved $250K from his brokerage account to another account after the FBI interviewed him.

Again, those are the allegations. By my count that would be an allegation of about $800K. So total for these two players is alleged to be at least $1.4M.

The DEA agent worked there 15 years and was earning $150K a year. The SS agent had 6 years experience.

The two agents were charged with:

• Theft of Government property
• Wire fraud
• Money laundering
• Conflict of interest

That should be enough to hold them in custody for a while.

Hopefully both of these alleged gentlemen will soon be long-term residents of free federal housing.

For future reference: Case 3-15-70370 MEJ. Northern District of California